God DAMN it is cold in the city today. Bundle up people or it could be your scrot that's being surgically removed at the end of the day.
Listen, I'm the first person to call someone a pussy for wearing one of those face-warming mask disasters. I've come to expect it out of the New York/Boston Asians because they have no idea what's going on around them, but when I see anyone else wearing one I just shake my head. It's not like we're living in fucking Saskatchewan people. Have we become so jaded that once it drops below 40 degrees the entire city throws on six layers? Folks from Canada and Russia who visit New York probably just laugh their asses off. People shivering and complaining all day. If I'm ever feeling cold I just think that there is someone going for a run in Siberia in nothing but sweatpants and a hoodie and I immediately sack up.
But today is the exception. Wear any weird face warming device you can find. Today is the one day I am actually angry I don't own a pair of long underwear. This cold streak is also the last thing the Northeast needs right now. I love snow, but not city snow, and it's not going anywhere any time soon. The dirty white piles filled with cigarette butts that line the streets are here to stay! At this rate the city snow and treacherous ice won't thaw out until Memorial Day. I swear there has been a dead rat frozen in the snow on West 52nd Street for weeks. It's hard to decompose when people's tits are freezing off. And this is a city rat so it's two feet long. Absolutely disgusting.
The only place I've seen bigger rats is in Boston, and that's where I happen to be heading this weekend. It's supposed to blizzard the day I'm returning, so fuck me right?! My girlfriend better REALLY enjoy my presence.
Stay warm.
No comments:
Post a Comment