Juno: An Exercise in Futility

(These sweatshirts, the ones right here? They're the embodiment of everything that's one with society nowadays. Hard to defend millennials and the culture which has been attached to us when people are out there slinging these in the streets. Absolutely insufferable.)

Hey Juno I got a question for you though, do you even blizzard? I mean, come on. Storm of the Century? Fuck outta here with that weak shit. I'm out here starting a a blog anticipating being snowed in until Valentines Day yesterday, only to wake up this morning having to go to work in an hour. What did we get, 3 inches, max? Horrendous.

When you really boil it down though, this storm was fucked since Jumpstreet. Juno? Is there a worse name out there? I can't think of one if there is. This is just another example in a list of recent Juno-related failures:

Obviously the first thing that comes to mind is the movie. Well the movie fucking sucks. Ellen Paige* flips the script on us and plays yet another angsty, feminist who gets knocked up by George Michael Bluth Micheal Cera. This film and the people who swear by it are just so far up their own asses I can't stand it. WE GET IT. Indie is your thing, nobody is trying to take it from you around here, NOBODY. 

Also, this movie kinda serves as the turning point for Micheal Cera sucking, no? Before this he's incredible in Arrested Development, equally as funny in Superbad and then what? He does this movie and nothing. Fucking Ellen Paige, just sucking the soul out of once-funny actors for the hell of it.

This little fucker, Juni from Spy Kids. Juni, Juno same thing, bottom line this kid was the WORST. Constantly whining and needing his sister to bail him out. Hey bro, could you get a clue for me just one time? I mean Jesus Christ Almighty, had to be the worst child-spy of all-time.

However when the chips are down, you're Juni from Spy Kids and people are writing blogs about how much of a goddamn squid you are 10 yeas after the fact, at least you have your looks to fall back on. 

Nevermind.

Junos/Junis they all suck.

*If you think anyone here expected two Ellen Paige references in the first 36 hours here at The House you're nuts.

PS - As a general rule of thumb around here, any blog about fraud blizzards leading to Spy Kids references are going to end with a friendly reminder about how unbelievably hot Alexa Vega turned out to be. Chick just absolutely drips sex. Love you,  Lexy.

PPS - She's a Mom now. Mind boggling.